


Know Thyself

by grey2510



Series: Misc SPN Works (<15k words) [31]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Demisexuality, Discussions of sexuality, F/F, Gen, Post-Episode: s11e12 Don't You Forget About Me, Sisterly bonding, WIP, more tags and such to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/pseuds/grey2510
Summary: A collection of stories of Claire Novak as she tries to build a life for herself in Sioux Falls and as a hunter, and as she tries to figure herself out.CH - see chapter 2





	1. Sisterly Bonding (post-11x12)

It takes a few days for Alex to be truly ok again, even though she had put up a good front when Dean and Sam had left. But Claire's an expert at trying to put on a brave face; she can spot it a mile away on someone else.

It freaks her out, though, to see it on Alex. She knows Alex's history, knows she was a mess when she first showed up at Jody's, but by the time Claire'd showed up, Alex had been on her way to perfect daughterdom while Claire had taken over as the resident teenage fuckup.

It doesn't help that Claire has exactly zero clue what to say to Alex. They don't make Hallmark cards for when you decapitate your adopted sister's psycho vampire boyfriend. So she just avoids Alex, except when they both team up to help Jody around the house while her knee is busted.

Alex takes a week off from school, but Claire goes and picks up her homework for her every day (no math, though—apparently they're still interviewing for a replacement, so it's just been daily subs). She grimaces but tries to smile when the secretary asks after Alex and says how hard it must be to lose a favorite teacher and then have your boyfriend go missing—no one blames her at all for needing a little time.

Claire wonders—and not for the first time—how Jody manages to smooth all the weird shit over so that no one asks too many questions when people die weird or go missing. She'd tried asking once but Jody'd just gotten that look on her face, the one whenever her son or husband comes up, and so Claire had just said never mind and hasn't asked again. She knows the basics of what happened to Jody's family, but she also knows what it's like to have those memories stirred up.

So it surprises her when it's Alex who breaks the silence, though maybe it shouldn't: Alex is always the one who has her shit together and can talk about things, right?

"I'm not mad at you, you know." Alex doesn't take the manila folder of homework assignments so that Claire can scurry away again.

Claire drops the folder on the kitchen table between them instead. "I know. It's just…" Sighing, she flops down into a chair. "Just sucks, right?"

"Understatement." Alex spins her phone on the table. "People keep texting me, asking if I'm ok. But they really just want to know if I've heard anything about...him." The phone stills. "I am _not_ looking forward to Monday."

Claire nods. She can barely remember her life before Castiel and her life got turned upside down, but she remembers the sad looks all the teachers had given her when her dad disappeared, how no one really wanted to talk to _her_ , just wanted any details they could get. At least she hadn't had to lie when she said she didn't know what happened.

"So don't go. Graduating is overrated anyway." Claire tries a grin and even if it's forced, Alex rolls her eyes and smiles back.

"You graduated," she counters.

Well, technically, she'd done online high school classes and gotten her GED, but that hadn't stopped Jody from celebrating by taking them out to the one fancyish restaurant in Sioux Falls.

"Uh huh. And it's doing me _wonders_."

"Yeah, well, I actually _want_ to go to college. Kinda need to to be a nurse."

Claire's grin falls. "You want to be a nurse?"

Alex raises an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah? Where've you been?"

Looking down at her chipped nail polish, Claire frowns and shrugs. "I dunno. You and Jody always go off on your perfect life plans and I just kinda...tune it out."

It's quiet for a moment and Claire can feel Alex's eyes on her.

"Just because I don't want to be a hunter doesn't mean I think you shouldn't."

"Yeah, well…" Claire scratches at the polish on her thumbnail and dark purple flakes chip off. "That'll be nice. And normal. Only room for one freak in this house anyway."

"Right. Because I'm super normal and definitely wasn't raised by vampires." Alex sighs. "Who do you think's gonna patch you up when you come in from a hunt, huh?"

Claire looks up. "What?"

" _Somebody's_ gotta make sure your dumb ass doesn't get sepsis and die."

"Jesus, I'm not gonna get sepsis and _die_."

"Of course not. 'Cause I'm gonna be a nurse." Alex grins triumphantly and Claire can't help but huff a small laugh. Alex's phone vibrates and she picks it up, reads the notification, frowns, and tosses it back on the table a few inches away from her. "'Sides, who I'm gonna talk to about this stuff? The soccer team?"

Claire shrugs, thinking of the girls who had come over for a pasta party a few weeks ago. "My money's on Heather. She could probably take out a vampire."

Alex considers this, then laughs. "Yeah, you should see her with a lacrosse stick."

She's pretty sure she doesn't flush at the image, but it's a close thing. Maybe team sports aren't as lame as Claire thought. Just in case, she gets up and goes to the fridge, rooting around for a can of Coke. She pulls out two, holding one out to Alex in question. Alex nods as Claire gently kicks the fridge closed again.

"Thanks."

They pull their tabs almost in unison, and they drink and sit in silence. Claire drums her fingernails on the side of the can.

"Hey, uh, I know it's probably kind of late and besides the point, but sorry for ratting you out to Jody, especially in front of Sam and Dean."

Alex sets down the can. "That might have been the worst experience of my life."

"Even worse than—"

" _Yes._ " Alex glares at her, but she's pretty sure there's a grin hidden back there. "Just you wait until you bring a guy home."

"Uh…" She can't meet Alex's eyes and instead lets her own roam the kitchen. "Don't think that's gonna happen," she mumbles.

Alex's mock glare falls. "Claire, I'm sorry. I was just pissed at dinner when I said that."

It's true, Alex's comment on her lack of social life had stung and hit too close to home, but that isn't what's currently making Claire wish she could become one with the floor.

"That's, uh, that's not what I meant. I, um…" Fuck, why is this so hard to say? "I don't think I'll ever bring a _guy_ home."

Claire only has to hold her breath for half a second, waiting for the other shoe to drop, before Alex says, "Oh. So maybe you really _should_ see Heather with a lacrosse stick."

"Wh-what?"

Alex shrugs. "Figured I'd leave the awkward supportive conversation to Jody."

Claire's stomach plummets. She'd forgotten about Jody. "Oh no. That's gonna be so awkward."

Now Alex's smile is a mile wide. "Yup," she agrees, popping the 'p'. "Have fun with that one."

"I think I'm gonna go do something dumb and get sepsis somehow," she says, getting up from the table. "You're not a nurse yet."

"Your funeral."

"That's the idea."


	2. Knit Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be read independently of Chapter 1.
> 
>  **CH mods:** see end notes

"You know," Eoin O'Kelly—aka. the leprechaun pain the ass Claire's been tracking the past four days—says, a mischievous grin spreading on his face as he parries a swing of Claire's iron fireplace poker with his shillelagh, "we could make a deal."

"Yeah, pass," she grunts, swinging again. "Not in the mood for your Lucky Charms."

"Are you sure? You know I could get you—"

Before he can finish that sentence, Claire reaches into her pocket, grabs the saltshaker she'd snagged from the diner, and throws it against the wall, cracking it open and spilling salt everywhere.

"No!" O'Kelly cries, abandoning his defensive maneuvers to stoop and count the grains. While he's distracted, Claire raises the poker again.

Somehow the lore books neglected to mention the smell of burning fairy flesh when it comes in contact with iron. With her sleeve over her nose, Claire walks out of the cabin to go get the gasoline to burn the place to the ground. By her car is Patience, waiting somewhat less than patiently.

"Your vision was right: creepy cabin in the woods was his hideout."

"What was he?" Patience asks, crossing her arms and looking worriedly over Claire's shoulder at the cabin.

"Leprechaun."

"I didn't think those were real."

"That's _Buffy_." Patience blinks, to which Claire rolls her eyes. "Never mind. Let's finish this and get out of here."

Cabin burned and fire fighters anonymously called (destroy evidence, yes; burn down the whole forest, no), Claire and Patience make their way back to town. Normally Claire would just peace out after a hunt, but Patience is all about the do-gooder crap, so they end up stopping at the craft store owned by the couple who first reported a missing person after the husband got (temporarily) abducted by fairies.

"Can't we just head home?" Claire scowls under her breath as she holds the door open to Patience. "'Sides, rather not have the cops start wondering why that place burned down…"

Patience pauses and Claire nearly walks into her. "Wouldn't you want to know that everything is back to normal? That the people you love aren't in danger any more?"

Claire glares at her. "That was low. Fine."

Mr. and Mrs. Briedis practically shed decades off their faces when they hear the news, the deep lines of worry disappearing. The dark circles under their eyes are still there, but they look significantly less haunted than they had a moment ago. Claire lets Patience handle most of the talking while she tries to keep her foot from tapping as she itches to get out of there.

"We can't pay you for what you did," Mrs. Briedis says, a small crease reappearing at the corner of her mouth.

"That's ok. We don't charge," Claire responds, smiling tightly. She just wants to _go_.

Mr. Briedis looks around his shop. "Store credit? Please. It's the least we can do."

Patience and Claire eye each other, and finally they both nod. Sometimes it's easier just to let people have their way, let them "pay" so they can sleep better at night. Claire'd rather get paid in burgers, but she's sure Patience'll find something nerdy to buy in this place.

They wander the aisles, aimlessly in Claire's case, with purpose in Patience's. "What're you gonna get?" she asks, toying with a display of unpainted little birdhouses until she fumbles and nearly sends three of them to the ground. Sheepishly, she sets them back on the shelf.

"Yarn," Patience replies. "It's been a long time since I've knitted. Don't really need scarves and stuff in Georgia."

"You get your AARP card yet?"

Patience narrows her eyes at her. "I was _going_ to make _you_ something, too, but maybe I'll just make a nice scarf for Alex and some mittens for Jody, and you can get some frostbite."

"That's just mean."

"Your point?"

They finally find the yarn aisle and Patience starts sorting through the different colors and weights, touching this skein, putting that one back, all with some sort of method that Claire doesn't understand. So instead, she starts people watching. It's mostly retirees or soccer moms; not the most interesting group she's ever seen. That is until she turns towards the back wall of the store. A woman about their age, with dark almost black hair, caramel-toned skin, and startlingly light green eyes has been looking at Patience, and she blushes and turns away when Claire catches her.

"Ooh, someone's got a fan," Claire says, nudging Patience with her elbow and pointing in the direction of the woman.

Patience looks puzzled for a moment before her expression clears and she puts a skein of deep purple yarn in her basket. "Oh. That's nice. Not really my type, though."

Claire shrugs, glancing back at the woman appreciatively. "Your loss."

Now it was Patience's turn to roll her eyes. "So go make your move."

Tempting, but starting up a relationship or even a one-night fling _after_ a hunt when they really need to blow this popsicle stand is probably not the best idea. Even if Claire were in the mood for any of that. Also, hotstuff over there clearly has eyes for Patience, not Claire.

Patience eventually finds the exact five skeins of yarn that are perfect for whatever she plans on making and also some knitting needles she likes, and the Briedises cheerfully wave them good-bye. Patience even gets a sighing look from her not-so-secret admirer, but she doesn't even notice and Claire just chalks it up as one more reason the world is incredibly unfair.

They're a few miles down the road when a question that Claire's been mulling over without even realizing it finally pops out. "So what _is_ your type?"

Patience stills in the passenger seat. "I, um. I don't know."

"Whaddya mean?" Claire asks absently, adjusting the volume of the radio so they can talk better. She realizes belatedly that probably sounded way more judgmental than she meant it. "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that. Just curious."

Patience still doesn't answer, but her shoulders relax a little, so Claire tries again.

"Like, you don't have a type because you like lots of types or you don't have a type because you don't really like any types?"

"More the second one, I guess." Patience lets out a breath. "It's always...backwards."

"Backwards?"

From the corner of her eye, Claire sees Patience bite her lip as she chooses her words. Finally, she turns a little to Claire. "Ok, so in the store right now, you looked at that girl and thought she was cute and she looked at me and liked me, right, even though we'd never even spoken?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I don't work that way. If I like someone romantically, it's because I know them really well. And then sometimes, after I like them romantically for a while, it's like a lightbulb goes off and my brain says, _oh and they're really hot, too._ It's backwards."

"Huh." Claire lets that mull over for a minute while Patience looks down at her lap where her hands are nervously playing with the hem of her shirt. She remembers her own _oh shit maybe I'm not normal_ days but at least 'lesbian' was pretty straight-forward (well, not straight…) to figure out. But more importantly right now, she's gotta say _something_ to Patience other than 'huh'. "That's kinda nice. You get to know them really well first. Be friends and all."

"Flirting sucks, though. I'm terrible at it."

She grins. "Maybe your opening line shouldn't be, _Hey, what was your score on AP Bio? I got a 5._ "

Patience punches her on the arm. "I do _not_ flirt like that, jerk."

"Hey, watch it, I'm driving here!" she laughs, relieved that Patience is smiling a little, too. "For real, though, I think you'll be ok. You're probably not the only one."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. You'd be surprised."

Patience nods. "Thanks, Claire."

"You can thank me by making me a hat. I really like that blue you picked out. But _no_ pom-poms."

"Right. Pom-poms. Bigger the better. Check."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written for Coldest Hits. My stats for ch. 1: Comments: 8 Kudos: 12 Hits: 59. I would have posted a separate fic, but I already had this one posted as a WIP. I'm also over the word limit of 1k by a few hundred. If this is too hard to calculate, that's cool. I'm not playing to win.
> 
> This month's CH rules: http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/183246451965/march-2019-prompt-guilty-pleasures-in-a-craft
> 
> Also, I'm writing Patience as demisexual, based on my own experiences. She doesn't have the language for it yet, and neither does Claire, and I think that's both true to their characters at this stage in their lives, and relatable for a lot of people trying to figure this stuff out. I didn't know what demisexuality was until I was 27. So if you were bothered by them talking about someone being on the ace spectrum without actually saying the words out loud, that's why, not because I was trying to avoid it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos appreciated!
> 
> Check out my other works (sorted by series for easier navigation):  
> [Grey's works](http://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/series)  
> Come visit me on Tumblr! @[grey2510](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/)


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